Web Log

March 13, 2007

How many paths must a boy walk down, before they call him a man?
How many times must a suitcase be packed, before it can be left to stand,
And how many times must the chattel laws apply, before they're forever banned?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many years must a mountain exist, before it is washed to the sea?
How many years must a placement exist, before they're allowed to be free?
And how many times can a man turn his head, and pretend that he just doesn't see?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many times must a man look up, before he can see the sky?
How many ears must one man have, before he can hear children cry?
And how many deaths will it take till we know, that too many children have died?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind.

February 9, 2007

TVW:

House Early Learning & Children's Servic February 09, 2007 Public: HB 1333 (concerning child welfare protections), HB 1334, HB 1335, HB 1425, HB 1624 (reinstating parental rights for adolescents in state care); Executive: Bills previously heard in committee.

listen | watch

listen

KOMO TV4 Interview: http://www.komotv.com/news/5732701.html?video=pop&t=a

Live! From Seattle with Thor Tolo: Interview

1:30:00 PM

Joint Task Force on Child Safety Work Session: Overview of Child Welfare System and Child Fatality Reviews, Task Force Organization.

Windows Media

Real Audio

May 17, 2005

Gov. Gregoire signed HB 5922 today - the Justice and Raiden Act.

Here is the press release: http://www.governor.wa.gov/news/news-view.asp?pressRelease=40&newsType=2

This is another big step.  We've lost too many kids.  We are finally waking up.  This law means that the department can take action when they see chronic neglect that detrimental to a child's welfare.

May 13, 2005

Governor Christine Gregoire signed HB 2156 today - the Sirita's Law Task Force Bill.

Here is the Governor's Office press release: http://www.governor.wa.gov/news/news-view.asp?pressRelease=84&newsType=1

I met with the Governor for a few moments before the bill signing, with Rep. Ruth Kagi.  We looked through my photos of Sirita and I shared a few stories.  The Governor thanked me for my work and affirmed, “These kinds of tragedies happen far too often.  We should give parents a chance, but there comes a time to let the best interests of the child win out.”

She then signed the law and gave me the pen.  This is a big step forward.  There is such strong support for this now.  Nobody wants to lose any more children.

Afterwards I said a few words to the press and thanks the Governor.  She shook my hand, and then gave me a hug.  I also thanked Rep. Kagi for making this happen, and we hugged, too.

Unlike most bills, 2156 has no waiting period.  It went into effect as soon as the Governor signed it.  Now the members of the task force must be selected and we need to start meeting.

Thanks to everyone that has helped this issue get this far.  We will move this forward, and next year see a signing ceremony we can truly celebrate.

May 11, 2005

Robin Arnold-Williams, the new Secretary of DSHS, met with me today.  We met twice before, briefly, but this was the first time I had been in her office.  We had a good discussion about the proposals.  She said she would be on the task force personally.  "This isn't the sort of thing you can delegate.  It's too important."  I appreciated hearing her experience in Utah, and I was glad to give my perspective as a foster dad.  I felt very encouraged talking to her.

I showed her a post to the guest book yesterday, from a foster mom named Teneille, who gave a baby back to the birth mom only to have it returned black and blue.  I said I get a lot of e-mails like this and I honestly don't know what to do with them.  People hope I can help them, and all I can do is say I will pray for you and please contact your representatives and the Ombudsman.  She found the story as disturbing as I did.  She wanted to know if people didn't know about the Ombudsman, or if they didn't find it responsive.  I said I think most people don't even know it is there.

If you feel your child is at risk and your social worker is not addressing your concerns, here is the contact information.

Contacting the Ombudsman

6720 Fort Dent Way, Suite 240
Mail Stop TT-99
Tukwila, WA 98188
(206) 439-3870 • 1-800-571-7321 • (206) 439-3789/TTY • (206) 439-3877/FAX

Web site: http://www.governor.wa.gov/ofco/index.htm

She also wanted to know if foster parents felt supported.  I said we get lots of flyers in the mail for meetings I never attend, which is my own fault, but I think it mirrors the experience of others.  My wife attends more meetings than I do.

She said she was glad that representatives from the judicial branch would be on the task force, because it does no good to pass laws if the courts go around them.

On my drive back, my cell phone rang.  It was the governor's office, informing me that the signing ceremony for HB 2156 would be Friday, at 1:45pm.

May 10, 2005

Lots of people stopped by my table on Saturday at the Keep Kids Safe event.  I gave out over a hundred flyers, and 30 signed up for my e-mail mailing list.  Thanks to everyone that stopped by.  I enjoyed talking to all the kids that came by, too.  Not everyone takes kids seriously.  I do.  Kids care about kids.  This is a long term struggle.  It's not just about changing a law, it's a sea change in how we as a society think about children's rights.  I am optimistic that we can make a change now, or I wouldn't be doing what I am, but I recognize that long term, you kids are more important to changing society than any of us adults.  What physicist Max Plank said about science is generally true about any new idea:

"A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar to it."

Regardless of your youth, there all lots of things you can do.

• Become familiar with the political process - the legislative calendars, the committees, the people and issues.  All of it is on the legislative website, http://leg.wa.gov.  You may not be a voter, but your parents are.  Most of them know nothing about the system.  You could be the one to inform your family about issues.  You could get them to make the calls.  And don't stop there - you have neighbors and relatives, too.

• Call up your representative.  All of them are thrilled to meet kids from their district, give you advice, show you around.  They might even ask you to be a page.  And most of them have candy in their offices.  :)

• Think about what you want to do with your life in terms of how you can help others.  You are going to be the judges, lawyers, social workers, politicians, and foster parents in the future.  Start thinking about it now.  This doesn't mean you have to change what you want to be, but start thinking about it in a new way.

• As a kid, you have tremendous influence advocating for other kids.  You could raise money for children's causes.  When I was a teenager, our church youth group held a lot of car washes.  Some kids have bake sales.  Adults have a hard time turning down kids.  Now just imagine a child asking an adult to help stop child abuse - it's irresistible.  You can make a difference here.  There are many worthy children's charities; I can recommend Children's Home Society as one of the best.

• I bet you know foster kids.  How do you treat them?  How do your friends treat them?  Do they get included?  They don't want sympathy; what most of them really want is to be treated normal.

• If you are a foster kid - find your voice, tell your story.  We need to hear it.

• Don't do drugs.  A lot of people say it, but it bears repeating.  Drugs killed Sirita.  Drugs kill a lot of kids.  You never do something just to yourself; it always has a ripple effect to those around you.  That's true of bad things, but you can turn it around because it's also true of good things.

May 4, 2005

The sentencing of Heather Ewell has been postponed until June 28, at 1pm.  The reason is that prosecution requested more time to complete the impact statement, and the defense wanted more time for psych evaluation.

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If you missed my interview on KCTS Connects April 21, you can watch the streaming video with Windows Media Player: http://xpstream.winisp.net/siritalaw/KCTS.wmv

I will post it in other formats soon.

May 3, 2005

There has been a lull since the end of the legislative session.  Which is good, in a way; I don't think I could keep up that level of activity much longer.  There are many things happening this month.  To start, May has been declared Foster Care Awareness Month by Gov. Gregoire.  Here's my agenda for the month:

May 7 - Keep Kids Summer Safe at Seattle Center House, 11am - 3pm.  Admission is free.  It's another chance to get the message out, so I will be there with a table.  If you want to come help, let me know.  The event is sponsored by the Washington Council to Prevent Child Abuse and Neglect.

May 11 - Private meeting with our new DSHS Secretary Robin Arnold-Williams.

May 12 - Heather Ewell will be sentenced in Snohomish County Superior Court.  If you wish to write a letter to the court regarding the sentencing, you can e-mail the Snohomish County Prosecuting Attorney Craig Matheson: cmatheson@co.snohomish.wa.us.

May 13 - Governor Christine Gregoire will sign HB 2156 to create a Task Force bill to make recommendations to the legislature on the Sirita Law.  I'll get a chance to speak with Gov. Gregoire prior to the signing and share my memories of Sirita.

May 17 - Gov. Gregoire will speak at a State Capitol ceremony recognizing the work done by foster parents.  Here is the press release from DSHS: http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/mediareleases/2005/pr05111.shtml.  Note her reference to the Kids Come First reforms:

6,000 Foster Parents Earn Special Recognition During May

May 1, 2005

Christ is Risen!

Today is Orthodox Easter.  If you've never been to an Orthodox Easter service, you should try it once.  We celebrate by attending a church at 10 o'clock Saturday night, because Christ is risen at the stroke of midnight.  The priest emerges from the church with a big candle that represents the Resurrection, and he lights the candles of those standing nearby.  They in turn light the candles of their neighbors, as light spreads out from the church, person to person, symbolic of the spread of the gospel.  Everyone walks around the church three times in a candlelight procession, and then the priest bangs on the door three times to enter the church, symbolic of the risen Christ entering glory.  The greeting from now until Pentecost is "Christ is Risen!"  The response is, "He is risen indeed!"  The service goes on until 2 or 3 in the morning, after which there is a big feast.  Lamb is the main course.  Everyone has been fasting for Lent, so it is a big celebration.  Nobody gets to bed before 4 or 5 in the morning.

Sirita came with us regularly to church, including Easter services.  She didn't understand the liturgy, but she liked lighting candles and playing with the other children.  The priest was very kind to her.  He blessed her many times, touching her head with oil.  I taught Sunday School.  Every Sunday we had songs, a Bible story, and a craft.  We got very creative in Sunday School - after I told the Bible story, I assigned parts and the kids would act out the story.  Sirita was shy about taking parts, preferring group parts, such as "the crowd" or "the vineyard workers."

Saturday before Easter we all take naps.  Even so, Sirita and the other children would lay down and fall asleep in the church pews during the Service.  A friend in the church gave Sirita a stuffed Easter bunny.  During the feast, we taught her the game all children play in Orthodox countries, tapping colored eggs together to see which one breaks.  You hold out your egg to your neighbor and say, "Christ is Risen!"  Your neighbor replies, "He is risen indeed!" and taps your egg with his.  Whichever egg doesn't break is the winner.  A trip around the table usually produces a champion egg.  :Sirita liked eating the eggs, but she liked the game even more, cracking a lot of eggs she didn't want to eat.  :)  There was also plenty of candy for the kids.  On the way home she fell asleep in the car.  We put her to bed, and none of us woke up until nearly noon on Sunday.

These memories are bittersweet, strangely comforting.  Mingled with tears, I smile remembering how she was.  To Protestants, it sounds odd bringing children to church in the middle of the night.  But these traditions are part of who we are as a family.  When you bring a child into your home, you make them part of that life.  Foster care isn't some juvenile hotel service; it's about opening your heart and your home, giving a child a safe place to be and the best experience you can as an important part of your family, no matter how transitory.

Easter is about new life and the hope of resurrection.  Sirita, I know you are out there, somewhere, and you know how much we love you and how much we miss you.  Easter tells me I will see you again.  I hang on to that day.  It is my sanity in all of this.  You have moved so many people who never even met you.  They will greet you on that day, too, and say, "So you're Sirita."

He is risen indeed.

April 24, 2005

I stand corrected - I incorrectly stated that "reasonable use of corporal punishment"  was part of SB 5922, when in fact it is already part of current law.  I regret the error and I have edited it out of the April 23 web log.  SB 5922, The Justice and Raiden Act, is a tremendous step forward and I am very happy that it passed.  Thank you to everyone that called their legislators.

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Having said that, let me say then that current law contains a clause that abuse cannot be based solely on "reasonable use of corporal punishment."  This is troubling.  I understand the intent.  If the parent has done nothing more than give a single swat on the butt with a bare hand, then an accusation of child abuse may be an overreaction.  However, how do we define "reasonable use?"  This is one more example of asking social workers to play lawyer in making that determination.  This is dangerous.  Many feel that no form of corporal punishment is reasonable. Others may see this as legal license to whack kids.

This not only allows individual interpretation, it actually requires it.  I doubt that the legislature could come up with a legal definition for "reasonable use of corporal punishment" that everyone would agree on.  And if we can't come up with a legal definition, how do we expect the case workers to do so?

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This week is National Shaken Baby Awareness Week.  I mentioned Denise Isings before in this log; she has been a tireless crusader for this cause ever since she lost her grandson, Kaden.  The "Keep Kids Safe" license plates have imprints of Kaden's hands taken when he was brought to the hospital.  The money raised goes to fund education for new parents.  Check out their video on the WCPCAN website, Have A Plan.  Also check out The National Shaken Baby Coalition website.

April 23, 2005

Now dubbed The Justice and Raiden Act, SB 5922 made its final passage in the Senate today.  Thank you to everyone that called in support of it!  This comes just in time, as the legislative session ends tomorrow.

In its original form, 5922 was a much smaller bill that required DSHS to notify a parent of the allegations against him or her during an investigation of child abuse or neglect.

It was amended in the House to expand the definition of child abuse or neglect to include chronic and cumulative effects of a pattern of conduct, behavior, or inaction, that evidences a serious disregard of consequences, and was renamed after the Robinson boys who starved to death even though their home had been visited by Child Services multiple times.  The amendment was largely based on an earlier bill sponsored by Rep. Dickerson, who also proposed the amendment.

This bill is a huge step forward.  It now means that we can step in when we see chronic patterns of abuse or neglect.

The bill does not come into effect until January 1, 2006.  This is to allow the State time to consider the ramifications and cost of what is, after all, a fairly huge change, and develop policies.  As always, I worry about the kids that can't wait that long.  But in part, I know we may need that time.

April 21, 2005

Three months ago today.  It hardly seems possible.  Has it been three months already?  I miss you, baby.  But I know, somewhere in heaven, you are saying right now, "I'm not a baby!"  :)  To which I always replied, "but you're my baby."

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NEWS STORIES:

Two big news stories today.  I was handed a photocopy of the story about the children tied up in their garage when I arrived at KCTS studios for KCTS Connects.  I broke down in the green room.  It's all personal to me now.

I also heard about the resignation of the head of the Children's Administration when KCPQ News called me for a comment.  I never knew Uma Ahluwalia, so I can't say if this was good or bad, but I can say we have lost too many children by serious errors.  Some change does need to happen.

Here are the news links from the Komo 4 News website:

Woman Arrested For Tying Up 2 Kids
BONNEY LAKE - Police were called to a home in Bonney Lake to check out reports of muffled screaming and found a 9- and 10-year old bound -- one gagged -- in their garage.

Gregoire Accepts Resignation Of Child Welfare Chief
Uma Ahluwalia, hired just 19 months ago to oversee the agency, had reportedly overspent her budget.

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I had a brief telephone conversation with Rep. Mary Lou Dickerson today, about SB 5922.  It sounds like the concurrence committees have worked out the details and they have a version that will pass the Senate.  First the Senate had to send it back to the House by refusing the original amendments, but she believes the amendments then passed by the House today will pass the Senate tomorrow.

However, it's not over till it's over, so please call your senators and let's be sure.  It's a toll free call: 1-800-562-6000.  Tell them to protect our children by passing 5922 with the House amendment.

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Tonight I was a guest on  KCTS Connects, along with Jon Flora, CEO of Childhaven, to discuss Child Abuse Prevention Month.  I met Jon in the green room before the show.  He invited me to tour their facility and see their treatment program for abused children.  Jon talked, in part, about the Crisis Nursery at Childhaven for parents that need help.  After the show, I told him that Crisis Nursery was how I started as a foster parent.  Sometimes parents just need a break.

Jon makes a good point that public policy needs to be intergenerational; the programs needed to save lives are expensive, but so are the costs of prisons, which is where many of these children are headed if we don't do something now.  This kind of public policy requires politicians capable of planning very long term, far beyond the next election.

Thank you, Enrique and Susan, for helping to raise awareness tonight.

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I also saw this event on the Childhaven website.  It sounds like a fun fundraiser.  I hope it helps them care for more children.

Childhaven’s 7th Annual Butterfly Tea & Fashion Show
Sunday, May 1st, 2005 from 1:30 - 3:30 pm
At The Fairmont Olympic Hotel in the Spanish Ballroom

April 20, 2005

We have concurrence for HB 2156, the task force bill.  The final passage of the bill was achieved in the House today, again with a unanimous vote.  Thank you to everyone that called in support of this bill.  I will find out tomorrow when it will be signed by the Governor.

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I will be a guest on KCTS Connects tomorrow night, Thursday, April 21.  The show starts at 8:00pm; I will be on the second half, starting at 8:30pm.  Appearing with me will be Jon Flora, CEO of Childhaven.  We will be there in honor of National Child Abuse Prevention Month.

I will also be at the "Voices of the Children" event at 6pm held by Washington State CASA, but I will have to duck out early so that I can make the interview on KCTS on time.

April 19, 2005

I periodically check the progress of the task force bill, HB2156, to see if we finally have concurrence, and when it will go to the Governor.  I checked it this morning and my heart skipped a beat:

-- IN THE HOUSE --
Apr 18 House refuses to concur in Senate amendments. Asks Senate to recede from amendments.

It turns out that sending it back to the Senate was actually requested by the Senate committee, to amend the membership of the task force to include representation from Washington's Native American tribes.  It has been so amended, and now goes back to the House again.

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You may remember Cirila Bucio, who testified for us before the Senate Human Services and Corrections Committee.  Her four year old foster daughter, who had been with her since birth, had just been returned to her mother, who admitted hitting her on the head, putting her in a coma.  At the time, she was still in coma at Harborview and the foster parents were denied permission to see her.

She told us that the little girl said repeatedly that her mother hit her during her visits, but the social worker said she didn't believe her.  Apparently she did not report it.

It is good to hear that the child is now out of a coma, and her foster parents have been named guardians.  The birth mother is charged assault.  Click the Seattle PI news links below for more details.

Batted 4-year-old out of coma, talking

Thursday, April 14, 2005 · Last updated 9:10 a.m. PT. THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. SEATTLE - A 4-year-old girl from Yakima hospitalized with severe head injuries after allegedly being assaulted by her mother has emerged from a coma at Children's Hospital & Regional Medical Center. Sandra Lynn Soto was speaking and showing other signs of improvement after nearly three weeks in a coma
Last modified: April 14, 2005

 

 

Child hospitalized after being with birth parents

Thursday, April 14, 2005. SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER STAFF. A 4-year-old girl was hospitalized in Seattle with severe head injuries after state social workers returned the child to the home of her biological parents. Sandra Lynn Soto lay in a coma for about three weeks between March and April after medics found her unconscious, covered in bruises and suffering mult
Last modified: April 13, 2005

Cirila, our prayers are with you.  I hope your little one makes a speedy recovery.

April 18, 2005

There are several new links on the links page.  Check it out.

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Sirita was with Magda in the computer room one evening when Magdalena called for me, "Sweetie!"  Sirita imitated my voice and replied, "yes my dear."  A moment later I appeared in the door.  "Yes my dear?"  I found them both cracking up.  I didn't realize I was so predictable.  But it's good she learned we say nice things to each other.

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Sirita liked yoghurt.  She wanted the Yoplait Whips.  She liked any flavor, but was partial to lime.  She liked fresh fruits and vegetables, but sometimes you had to work a little to get her to eat other things.  I asked her, "Can you eat like a dinosaur?"  I would roll my head around and roar, and then chomp my mouth down on my fork or spoon.  She thought that was fun, and sometimes it worked to get her to eat.

One day Magda made homemade soup.  Sirita had never seen it before, and she didn't want to try it.  I told her it was Magda's special magic soup.  "Look what happens when I eat a carrot."  I took a spoonful of soup with a carrot in it, ate it, then blinked my eyes rapidly going, "Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing!"  "Now look what happens when I eat one of these!"  I took something else, threw my hands in the air, and went, "WHOOGA! WHOOGA!"  "Wow, you should try this!"  Before long she and I were eating and making lots of funny noises.  She decided she liked magic soup.

April 16, 2005

I haven't written much lately.  With the legislative session winding down, I needed to focus more attention at work, and this has also been tax time.

Since this is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, I've been trying to put together a candle light prayer vigil service for all the victims of abuse - remembering those we've lost, and praying for those children currently abused.  I haven't had much luck finding a venue.  If your church or place of worship would be willing to host one, drop me a line.  It's important that we keep up public awareness of this issue.

Washington State CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) is hosting an event titled "Voices of the Children" this Thursday, April 21, 2005, at 7pm in Seattle's Town Hall.  Dave Pelzer, a well know child advocate, will be speaking.  The event will be hosted by KING 5's Lori Matsukawa.  I plan to attend.  Tickets are $15.  Click on the link for more information.

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I had hoped the Sirita's love of looking at the stars would turn into a love for astronomy.  I hoped one day to teach her the constellations.  There's no way to know, of course, what will catch a child's interest.  You just expose them to as much as you can, encourage them, and let them chase their own dreams.  We knew she was smart.  We believed she was going to college.  I looked into the possibility of opening a Coverdell Educational fund for her.  The money I wanted to put there was what I donated instead to create the Sirita Memorial Fund at Children's Home Society, to help other at-risk children, especially foster and abused children.

That's one reason why I support the educational fund listed below.  I hope people will donate generously to it and to the Sirita Memorial Fund.

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We used to give Sirita Flintstone vitamins.  I made the mistake of giving her a choice - a mistake because she always asked for the purple ones, and refused the others.  Soon we had a bottle two thirds full of reds and yellows that she wouldn't eat.  Inspiration struck - I told her what we had were gold and pink vitamins.  Suddenly they were more interesting!  She would eat the gold and pink ones.  So you see - it's all marketing!

April 13, 2005

HB1050    An Act Relating to the Creation of a Foster Care Endowed Scholarship Program

Passed unanimous in the Senate!

Call your senators and representatives and say thank you.  It's obvious the legislature recognizes we need to take better care of our foster kids.  You don't get more bipartisan than unanimous.

$150,000 is appropriated from the State general fund for 2006, but it is only put into the endowment in increments of $25,000 matching funds when $25,000 of private funds have been donated.  I'll post the information when I find out where and how individuals can make donations.  If your employer also matches your contribution, that would effectively quadruple the impact of your generosity.

April 12, 2005

IMPORTANT EDUCATIONAL LEGISLATION FOR FOSTER KIDS:

Several bills relating to college cash have been introduced this session.

HB1408    An Act Related to Individual Development Accounts

One can open an IDA on behalf of a foster child.  The money will grow tax free and can be used tax free to go to college, buy a house, pay for health care, or pay for job needs.  By coincidence, this bill was heard by the House Appropriations Committee on the same night as my bill, HB2156.  While I was waiting to testify, I saw the paperwork on this bill in the hallway, thumbed through it, and recognized it as a great idea.  Although I didn't testify for it, I did sign in, in support of it.  I generally like bills that help people help themselves.

Status: Passed the House and Senate, and headed back to the House for concurrence.

SB5084/HB1079    Regarding postsecondary education and training support for foster youth

Status: Passed the House and Senate, and heading to the Governor for a signature!

HB1050    An Act Relating to the Creation of a Foster Care Endowed Scholarship Program

Sets aside $150,000 from the general fund for college bound foster kids.

Status: Passed the House, and just passed Rules today in the Senate.  Heading to the Senate floor for a vote.

ACTION NEEDED: Please write or e-mail your senator to support this on the Senate floor.

Here is the e-mail I sent to my senator, Sen. Bill Finkbeiner, today.  As the Minority leader he is on the Rules Committee, so I wanted to give him my thanks for passing this as well as voice my support for it:

Hi, I want to voice my support for 1050. I see it was placed on the second reading by Rules today - thank you!

As you know, a children that grow up as wards of the state are very disadvantaged. Most of us had parents that helped us well into our young adult years. I can't imagine getting through college without my parents giving me money and a place to do my laundry. After college, they gave me a place to stay while I looked for work. Even now, I turn to my parents when I need help or just good advice. It's a very important support system that children that grow up in the foster care system don't have.

College money won't replace two loving parents. As you know, I think the real solution is getting kids out of the system in the first place. But in the meantime, there are some kids out there we can help with educational money, so I support that.

Thanks again,

April 8, 2005

SB 5922 passed unanimously, with the amendment by Rep. Dickerson!  Thank you all for calling your representatives.  The info on the legislative website is a little confusing, because Rep. Dickerson introduced an amendment on the House floor to replace the amendment she had previously worked out in the CFS committee, but it essentially was the same: it expands child abuse to include chronic neglect.

As we all know, a bill can sail through the House and still have trouble in the Senate, so please contact your senator now.  This bill originally passed in the Senate, but now the Senate must approve the amendment added by the House.

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I decided to contact the Washington Council for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (WCPCAN) to see how we can cooperate, because they were tapped by the legislature to participate in the task force for Sirita's Law, and they are spearheading National Child Abuse Prevention Month.  I called Denise Isings after reading her story on their website.  She lost her grandson, Kaden, to shaken baby syndrome, which spurred her to promote special "Keep Kids Safe" license plates to fund education for new parents.  We talked for over an hour.  It was good to talk to someone that had been through this before.  Does it get any better, I asked?  She said it does; the good times get longer.  Like me, she has used her grief to fuel a campaign for change.  She will be back in town next week, and we promised to meet soon.

I then talked to Chris Jamieson and Kristen Rogers at WCPCAN.  Chris told me they will hold their annual "Keep Kids Safe" at the Seattle Center May 7th, and she offered to let me set up a table.  I will be there.  I hope many of you show up, too.

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Visitation by Grandparents denied by the Washington State Supreme Court: http://www.komonews.com/news/story.asp?ID=36180

This is outrageous.  I called Kristie Lund this morning and told her I support what she is doing 100%.  So many grandparents are stepping into the gap for their grandchildren, doing a fantastic job in difficult circumstances, and then getting rug pulled out from under them by the courts.  This isn't about rights - people misunderstand what I am doing, too.  I am not pushing for a new set of "rights."  We are talking about continuity of care to reduce the trauma of displacement in the best interest of the child, no matter who was in loco parentis - grandparent, foster parent, other relative, or guardian.  Kristie had seen my story on the news, too.  As it turns out, she herself is a foster child, and still very close to her foster parents.

Read the story above, and then check out Kristie's Relatives As Parents Project website.

April 7, 2005

SB5922 was not voted on today, so if you haven't contacted your representative yet, please do now!  It is on the House calendar for tomorrow.  Tell your representative to support SB5922 with the amendment by Rep. Dickerson to expand the definition of child abuse to include chronic abuse and neglect.

Those who oppose the amendment do so because it will cost more to protect these at-risk children. My goodness. If we aren't willing to spend money to protect children, what are we spending money on?

--

I had another silly game Sirita thought was hilarious.  I used to grab her foot and talk into it like a microphone.  "Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I am so glad to be here today..." Then I'd make a shocked expression.  "That's a foot!"  I'd drop it and grab the other one.  "Here it is - I'm so sorry for that interruption ladies and gentlemen, as I was saying...  That's another foot!!"  She'd be laughing pretty hard at this point, so I'd grab them both and hold them like it was a bunch of microphones.  "I'd like to thank the members of the Academy, my agent, the press, my fans... THESE ARE BOTH FEET!!!"

Kids never get tired of silly games, but after about 20 times I would get tired and change the game to something else.

April 6, 2005

At 1:30 today HB2156 passed unanimously in the Senate, 49-0, with the striking amendment which replaces everything in the bill with the creation of a task force to study these issues and make recommendations to the Legislature.  It moves back to the House now, where the amendment will almost certainly be accepted.  I thank all the Senate and House members for taking this issue seriously and I look forward to working on the task force.

Here is the link to the floor debate.  HB2156 was the first item of business:

1:30:00 PM

Senate Floor Debate The Washington State Senate convenes for floor debate on pending legislation in Olympia.

Windows Media

Real Audio

I want to thank especially my representatives: Rep. Larry Springer, Rep. Toby Nixon, Sen. Bill Finkbeiner, the bill sponsors: Representatives Hinkle, Kagi, Nixon, Pettigrew, McDonald, Dickerson, Pearson, Springer, Rodne, Williams, the Chair of the House Children and Family Services Committee Rep. Ruth Kagi, the Chair of the Senate Human Services and Corrections Committee Sen. Jim Hargrove, and each of the members of the CFS and HSC committees for hearing the bill and all their time and hard work spent on this issue.

In related news, the major provisions of HB1482, which was considered dead after not surviving a large fiscal note, have been amended onto SB5922 which was placed on the second reading in the House. It is now on the calendar for a vote on the House floor; it is likely to be voted on today or tomorrow.
 

I support for SB5922 as amended by the House Children and Family Services Committee.  The amendment expands child abuse to include chronic neglect.  This is vitally important.  We’ve had too many children die in cases where DSHS knew there were problems, had visited multiple times, and witnessed horrendous conditions, but felt their hands tied because there wasn’t an imminent threat.  The amendment would allow intervention for the purposes of investigation when a continued pattern of neglect is observed after multiple visits.

Please contact your legislators and ask them to vote in favor of the SB5922 with the amendment proposed by CFS.

April 5, 2005

Today HB2156 was placed on the second reading by the Rules Committee.  It is now on the calendar of the Senate to be voted on, probably tomorrow, on the Senate floor, including the striking amendment which replaces everything in the bill with the formation of a task force to study the issues and make recommendations to the Legislature.  I expect it will pass with the amendment; which means we will have a task force but none of the Sirita's Law proposals will pass this year.  So we have more work to do.  The preliminary report is due from the task force by the end of the year, because in January the Legislature will be back in session.  To read the amendment and see the composition of the task force, click here: TASK FORCE AMENDMENT.

I have already begun working directly with some of those who were opposed to the bill to see if we can't find common ground.  Obviously I don't want children removed from homes based on false allegations, and I can't believe they want children sent back to homes where they are abused, so I hope we can come to an understanding.

--

Susan Brenner, a friend of Patricia Sotelo, Sirita's mom, has asked me to post again her e-mail address: forsiritasmom@hotmail.com.  Susan monitors this account; she will forward e-mail sent there to Patricia.  One thing I have learned in this is that each of us has our own way of grieving.  So I won't pretend I know what she is going through, although we do share some grief in common.  I will say this, that for whatever problems she has had, this is worse punishment than anyone deserves.

We can all look back at this and wonder, is there something I could have done?  Is there something, as a foster dad, that I could have done differently?  Is there something the state could have done?  Is there something that you could have done, as a citizen?  We can all look back and feel just a little bit of guilt.  There is only one person completely innocent in all this.  And that is Sirita.

April 2, 2005

WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE: http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/04/20050401-3.html

National Child Abuse Prevention Month, 2005
A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America

Our Nation has a responsibility to build a safe and nurturing society so that our young people can realize their full potential. During National Child Abuse Prevention Month, we renew our commitment to preventing child abuse and rededicate ourselves to working together to ensure that all children can have a bright and hopeful future.

Creating a protective environment for our young people requires the shared commitment of individuals, families, and faith-based and community organizations. Parents and family members are the first and most important influence in a child's life. A safe and stable family can provide children with a foundation of love and security that encourages positive growth and development. Federal, State, and local government officials can also improve the lives of our young people by doing all they can to keep children safe from harm.

Together, we can protect our future generations so that they can realize the opportunities of our Nation. By providing help and hope to our young people, we will build a better and more compassionate world for our children and grandchildren.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim April 2005 as National Child Abuse Prevention Month. I encourage all Americans to protect our children from abuse and neglect and to help ensure that every child can grow up in a secure and loving environment.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of April, in the year of our Lord two thousand five, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and twenty ninth.

GEORGE W. BUSH

April 1, 2005

HB2156, Sirita's Law, passed out of committee today, with a striking amendment that removes all the proposals and forms a task force instead.  Now it goes to the Senate Rules Committee and then to the Senate floor.  If they pass the bill with the amendment, it will go to the House for approval of the change.

--

The website has had technical difficulties, which is why there has been no updates for two days.  I hope that is all behind us now.  I added a few more organizations to the Links page; check them out.  If you know a site that should be listed, let me know, and if you have a website, please give us a link.

--

There was an ant colony in a tree stump in front of our house.  They never came in the house, so I left them alone.  I thought it was educational for the kids.  Sirita liked to watch them.  During the summer we would sometimes have lunch on a blanket on the lawn.  Even the most ordinary lunch seems special when you call it a picnic.  For some reason, she was afraid to step on the moss with bare feet.  Sometimes I could coax her, but she was always a little afraid.  She liked to throw the Frisbee with me.  We had a badminton net set up; Magda and I would play in the evenings.  Sirita liked playing, too, or at least waving the racket and trying to hit the birdee.

We had 2 1/2 acres with a wooded wetland in the back.  We'd go tromping back there to explore.  Magda got quite a laugh when we came out of the woods, both using walking sticks.  We saw quite a bit of wildlife.  A pair of ducks came every summer.  There were raccoons, possum, squirrels, rabbits, woodpeckers, robins, blue jays, and a deer.  One morning when we opened the door to leave the house, there was the deer standing and eating our roses.  Sirita was so excited.  "It's a reindeer!"

March 29, 2005

The website went down last night; sorry to those of you who tried to log on.  The server has been fixed.

The big news today is that Sirita's Law was heard today in the Senate Human Services & Corrections Committee.  THANK YOU, Senator Hargrove, for hearing the bill.  We were the first item the committee heard; here is the link to the archive audio webcast:

Archived Broadcast of the Senate Human Services & Corrections Committee

March 29, 2005, 10:00AM: HB2156 Sirita's Law

  Windows Media   Real Audio

There is a strike amendment in the bill which forms a task force to study these issues further.  Sen. Hargrove asked me to be on it, and I accepted.  His concern is that proposals in the bill not have unintended consequences, and that we balance any changes in responsibility placed on the parents with controls placed on the social workers.

Also testifying in support of the bill were Crystal C. and Tonya Yanity, who have posted their stories in the Guest Book on this website, and Steven and Danielle Baxter, co-presidents of Foster Parents of Washington State.  Finally, a very special foster parent showed up, driving six hours from Yakima and braving bad pass conditions.  Cerila Bucio is the foster mom of a little girl who came to her at six weeks old, is now 4, and was just given back to her birth mother, who has admitted striking the child on the head and putting her in a coma.  Cerila wants nothing more than to see her little girl in the hospital, but has been told she has no rights.  Sirita's Law would give her that right.  After the hearing, she met with several key people from DSHS and her legislators, and I hope that she will be able to visit the girl.  The child has been in a coma for 18 days now.

--

Yesterday, I met with Sen. Hargrove in his office with Rep. Hinkle and discussed his concerns with the bill.  He told me he was going to waive the 5-day rule and hold the hearing today, and that he wanted to put together this task force to hammer out these issues, so that we can come forward with a stronger bill next year.  I told him my concerns, and spent some time showing him pictures of Sirita and talking about my memories of her.

The positive side is that we did get a hearing, we are getting a task force which I will be on, and that the bill is moving forward.  I am grateful that the senator gave us a hearing and is taking these issues seriously.  Am I disappointed that the bill will likely not make it out of committee this year?  Well, of course.  Would you have believed me if I said I wasn't?  From the beginning I knew this would take a long time, but after the bill was drafted so quickly and passed unanimously in the House, I suppose my expectations level increased.  All the supporters of this bill tell me this is very good progress, and that it would have been incredible to pass the first year.  I understand that, and I am eager to work on these issues during the interim.  But - I still worry about the kids at risk now, this very moment.  Can they wait a year?

I was also very fortunate yesterday to meet the new Secretary of DSHS, Robin Arnold-Williams.  Rep. Hinkle introduced us.  I showed her Sirita's pictures and told her my story.  I felt a real connection as we spoke.  She asked me to call her to talk further.  She told me that while she was executive director of the Utah Department of Human Services they had a higher standard than is in this bill - 12 months for permanency, except for children under 3, where the requirement was 6 months.  Here is the press release announcing her appointment: DSHS Press Release.  Rep. Hinkle and others have told me they believe she is an excellent choice and that they have high expectations.  From my perspective, she seemed to be very in tune with everything I was saying.

I met her again today at the hearing, just long enough to say hi.

March 27, 2005

EASTER SUNDAY (Western Church)

Our family actually celebrates Orthodox Easter, which is next month.  But today is still special, since it is Easter for our Western Church brothers and sisters.  Orthodox Christians are lucky in this sense - we buy Easter candy at half price, starting tomorrow.  It's not an important religious difference, but it's fun.  As a kid, I loved those years when Easter came before my birthday (next week), because I knew my mom would buy a ton of Easter candy on sale for my birthday.

Sirita, like the other foster kids in our care, made out really well on the candy.  She got Easter twice.  She got an Easter basket from her mom, candy from us, and candy from the church.

I've written that each holiday adds a special sadness.  I cried on her birthday, cried again on Valentine's Day, and again on the first day of spring.  Easter is different somehow.  We look at the crucified Christ, and know that God shares our sorrow and our pain.  We look at the risen Christ, and know that we share that hope.  Easter is about new life.  Easter is about resurrection.  Easter is about the power of God being stronger than the power of sin and death.  Easter is about me knowing that one day I will see my little girl again.  Some jokingly say the crux Christianity is feeling guilty.  I might reply one doesn't have to look far to see much to feel guilty about.  But that isn't the message of Easter.  Easter is about forgiveness and rebirth.

I am still crying, but there is also hope in my heart.  This may be the first holiday I actually celebrate.

Happy Easter.

March 26, 2005

GOOD NEWS:  We will get a hearing in the Senate Human Services and Corrections Committee.  I have a meeting on Monday with the Chair of the committee, Senator James Hargrove.  He has asked me to join a task force he is putting together to look at these issues, and of course I said yes.  I understand there are concerns about how various parts of the bill would work in practice, and I am eager to discuss them and find common ground.  None of us want to remove children from good homes based on false allegations.  We may have some work to do to make sure we protect the best interests in all situations.

This is why from the very beginning I decided against doing an initiative, even though many of you suggested it.  My initial proposals were exactly that: proposals.  I would rather work through our legislators, have the debate, and hammer out the best possible solutions.  That's what we pay them for.

The trouble with an initiative is once you start gathering signatures, there's no room for discussion.  Make one change and you have to throw out all the signatures you've gathered.  And the cost is staggering.  I would rather raise money for the Sirita Memorial Fund.

Not every component in the bill is controversial.  I hope we can pass at least those items we can agree on, to not lose the momentum.  The more complex issues we may have to work on during the interim before the next session.

The hearing has not yet been scheduled.  As soon as it is, I will announce it here.  You can also check the bill's progress on the Legislative website for yourself: HB2156.

--

I eat oatmeal just about every morning, and usually the kids that stay here eat it, too.  I made a game of it with Sirita.  After a bite of oatmeal, we would say, "sticks to your bones!"  I recalled that was my mother's reason for feeding it to us when I was little.  When we visited my parents Mom corrected me; she claims she said oatmeal sticks to your ribs, because it fills your stomach.  After that, Sirita would say, "sticks to your ribbons!"

That weekend was also about the time I was teaching Sirita the song, "Jesus, There's Just Something About That Name."  I told her my parents knew that song, too, and the three of us sang it with her.  She was thrilled to sing a song with so many adults.  It was a very special feeling.  The faith I had received from my parents I was passing on to her.  And it's a comfort to me now.

March 24, 2005

Whenever I tried to teach her something, I would usually start with a question.  "Sirita, do you know what it means to be polite?"  No matter what the question, she would smile and say, "yes."  "Sirita, do you know what it means to be considerate?"  "Yes."  Hmm.  "Sirita, do you know what it means to have a thermo-nuclear reaction?"  "Yes."  Yeah, that's what I thought.

I explained that if she knew what something was, she should say yes, but if not, she should say, "no, what?"  We worked on this for a while.  She never did say "no, what?" but she did come up with her own compromise: she said, "yeah, what?"  I guess she couldn't quite admit there were things she didn't know.  I know a few adults like that, too.

--

Sirita's Law has made the international press.  It was in the Danish newspaper Ekstra-Bladet last Sunday, and a friend of mine saw the story in a Korean newspaper.  This website is listed by all the major search engines now.  Reading the server logs I see we get quite a bit of traffic from various websites around the country giving out a link.  Thanks!  Keep it up.  If you have a personal website, please give us a link.

March 23, 2005

Heather Ewell, Sirita's stepmother, was arraigned in court today.  She pled guilty.  There was a plea agreement; the prosecutor charged her with first degree manslaughter instead of second degree murder.  She indicated to the judge that she understood by pleading guilty she waived the presumption of innocence, the right to remain silent, the right to call witnesses to testify at no expense to herself, and the right to appeal.  She also waives the right to appeal the sentence, as long as it's within the standard for first time offenders: 6 1/2 to 8 1/2 years.  The prosecutor recommends the upper limit, because of the severity of the injuries.  Sentencing will not take place for 6 to 8 weeks.

Because she she is not a danger to the public and has demonstrated that she is not a flight risk, she was allowed to remain free until sentencing.  The prosecutor asked for bail at $75,000 because of the nature of the crime, but the judge ruled that the only factors are public safety and flight risk.

Heather acted very subdued and agreeable.  She had several supporters in the courtroom.  She turned and smiled at them when the judge ruled that she could be released on her own recognizance.  She looked relieved.  Afterwards, she looked even happy, as she smiled and hugged her family.  I can understand relief, but it seemed odd to see her smiling like that.  Does she feel any remorse?

As they hugged, one of her friends said, "It's okay, honey.  We know the truth."  I had to wonder - what truth is that?  Didn't you just hear her admit she was guilty?  What truth is it you know?  Please speak up if you know some truth the rest of us don't.  Sirita is dead.  She didn't kill herself.  The injuries are so extreme, it's obvious she was severely beaten by an enraged person.  Please tell me which of these facts disagree with your "truth."  Or maybe your truth is simply that you love your friend no matter what she has done.  That at least I can understand.  I only wish Heather had been as good a mother as you are a friend.

A family member said on camera that Heather was a good mother.  I suppose you can expect family members to say that for you.  But killing one of your children is not going to win you any prizes in parenting.

Heather must be punished for what she did.  She deserves the maximum because of the savagery of the beating, because the victim was a child, and because, seeing what she had done, she failed to contact 911 or make any attempt to render aid.  She let Sirita suffer and die alone.  She doesn't appear to show any remorse.

Having said that, eight and a half years seems an appropriate length of time.  Most murderers get less than nine.  The emotional part of me wants to see her go into a dark hole and never come out, but I realize that would not actually serve any purpose.  She is not a danger to society, except perhaps to children, and she will never get them back.  She's lost everything - her family, her home, probably her marriage, her children - and now she is going to spend a decade behind bars.  Child killers are the lowest strata in prison.  They aren't treated well by other prisoners.  She will go through nine years of hell.  And when she gets out - what will she do?  "Convicted murderer" doesn't look so good on a resume, even for fast food.  She isn't built for manual labor.  She won't be so young, and I don't think bachelors will be lining up.  She has thrown her life away.  Don't worry that she won't be punished enough - she is being punished already.

I am thankful that she at least admitted her guilt and spared us all the pain of a long trial.  The next step is to say she is sorry, to Sirita's family, to the foster families, before God, and yes, to Sirita.  I doubt the family will ever forgive her.  I doubt that I will either.  But there is a little angel in heaven that just might.  Heather, if you are reading this, I tell you in all seriousness, this is the only way to save your soul.  You took the first step by pleading guilty.  Now take the second.

March 22, 2005

HELP FOR PARENTS

I feel a responsibility to try to prevent this from happening again any way I can.  Raising kids isn't easy.  They don't come with manuals.  If you are a parent, and you are at your wit's end trying to cope, there is help for you.

The person who did this to my daughter did not get the help she needed, help which was available.  Now she has destroyed own life.  She not only killed one child, she deeply scarred the lives of every child in that home.  And she has deeply wounded all of us who loved Sirita.  It was all so avoidable.

Life is hard for most people.  Kids make it all the more stressful.  If you are having a tough time, please - do not hit your child.  Take a deep breath.  Remember, you are the adult.  Pick up your phone: there is help for you.  Maybe you need an extra hand.  Maybe you need a friend.  Maybe you just need to talk.

The Crisis Nursery line at 425-252-6293 can provide counseling, respite care, and connect you with parenting classes. The VOA Care Crisis Response Services at 425-258-4357 or 1-800-584-3578 can help with counseling and connect you with resources for a wide range of services.

Do it for yourself and your children.

March 21, 2005

Sirita had very fine, beautiful, blond hair.  The strands were so incredibly thin, it tangled constantly.  Even after shampoo and conditioner, it was difficult to comb.  Usually Magda handled this, but sometimes it was my turn.  We sat on the couch and she watched cartoons while I combed.  It was tough working out the tangles.  She'd yell "ow!" when I accidentally pulled too hard.  "I'm sorry!" I said.  Then I told her, "It hurts to be beautiful."  She didn't get the joke.  She wanted mommy to do it.  "Let me try again; I'll be very careful this time.  I promise."  Eventually I learned to hold her hair with one hand while working out the snarls with the other.  I was never great at arranging hair pretties, though.

She would ask for "ponies" - a pony tail or pig tails.  Magda loved fixing her hair up.  It kept her hair out of her food, too.

Occasionally people walking by us on the street would see this blond haired, blue eyed girl with the two of us dark haired, brown eyed adults and ask where she got the blond hair.  They meant to be friendly, but I always thought it was a little rude from total strangers.  We usually made up some dumb reply.  Funny, they never ask when we have African-American foster kids...  :)

--

I was thinking about her today when I wrote this e-mail:

Do you know what it is like to wait for a child that is never coming back?  Do you know how it feels to see each holiday tick by?  This is the beginning of spring.  I left her in the winter.  It's so wrong.  She should have seen the spring.  She's a child - she is the spring.

 

She loved to dance.  She loved to sing.  She loved to play games.  She loved it when I was funny.  And when a child loves it when you're funny, you try to be funny a lot.

 

Sometimes at night I stroke her head, run my fingers through her hair.  It's really just a blanket, the back of a chair, or just my hand going through empty air.  Sometimes it feels so real, I have to look and be sure it really is just a blanket.

 

So many times I have dropped a child off for a weekend visit, including Sirita, and prayed, please God, please just keep her alive until I can pick her up on Sunday.  That only sounds melodramatic if you haven't read the case studies.  And now one really did die.  My precious Sirita.

 

Is it really spring?  It still seems winter.  I wonder if it will ever be spring again.

March 19, 2005

I must refute some of the claims made by the defendant, as reported in the charging papers.  Sirita had no mental or cognitive problems.  This was a very smart little girl.  She could point out Mars, once I showed her how.  She could learn the words of a song after hearing it once, and sing it on key.  She was very intuitive.  When I would check on her at bedtime, she would look up and smile, "are you checking to see if I'm asleep?"  Um, pretty much kid, yeah.

As far as emotion problems - my goodness, try spending your whole life bouncing from home to home without having emotional problems.  Nearly all children in foster care have scars created by the system.  Sirita had nightmares nearly every night.  I am something of a night owl, so I would be the one to hear her cries and go pick her up.

Only in the first few weeks with us did she have wetting accidents.  After that, she calmed down.  Bear in mind that a small child entering this situation is terrified.  Our job as foster parents is to calm them down, make them feel safe, secure, and loved.  Most the nine months she was with us she was perfectly potty trained.  She never defecated herself while she was in my house.  Loss of control is a physiological response to extreme stress and fear.  If she was still having problems after a full year, there was something seriously wrong with the placement.  Why wasn't this noted by the social worker?

It was disturbing to read the claim that she had said, "I wish you were dead so I could live with my daddy."  My first impression is that this is a rather complex sentence for a four year old.  She certainly never talked like that in my house.  Nobody did.  Where did she learn a phrase like that?  Children repeat what they hear.  Considering the outcome, who wished who was dead?

It is distasteful to hear someone blame the victim, and particularly outrageous when the victim is a four year old child.  No child deserves to be murdered.  She deserved a much better life than she got.  If she was such a "problem child," why didn't they give the problem back to me?  I would have loved to have had that little problem back in my life.

I still would.

March 18, 2005

Some ask if this makes me question God.  The answer is simple: no.  It makes me question Man.

Is it God not doing His job, or us not doing our job?  We live in a democracy.  We have all the power we need to change the system.  All you need is to pick up the phone and make a toll-free call.  Why are we still waiting for diving intervention?

We Christians believe God knows what it's like to lose a child.  We know He cares, because it cost Him too much not to care.  I know not everyone who reads this website shares my beliefs, but if you don't believe that still small voice inside you is God, believe at least it is the voice of your own conscience.

So why doesn't God do something?  He is doing something.  He's sending you.

March 17, 2005

Yesterday was the last day in which bills could be passed in the house of origination, which means both the House and the Senate were pulling marathon sessions up until midnight last night to get legislation passed.  Today they are all likely sleeping in, so don't expect much out of committee before next week.

However, we are up against a deadline - all bills must be out of committee by April 1, or they are dead.  It's time to start canvassing Senators.  Please contact your senator, say that you support Sirita's Law, ask that it be given a hearing in committee, and ask if she/he supports it.  And please, send me an e-mail with the response so I can post a list of who is in favor of this.

--

When I first started this, I had to decide if it should be "Sirita's Law" or "The Sirita Law".  I chose the latter and registered the URL www.siritalaw.com.  However, when Rep. Hinkle drafted the legislation, he included a citation that it be known as "Sirita's Law," so that is the official name now.  Even before the bill was drafted there was confusion.  Many people told me they couldn't find the site because they were typing in the wrong name.  So now, I have registered "siritaslaw.com" as a forward domain.  Type it in, and it automatically forwards you here.

--

There are three ways to get on my mailing list:

• Click on the link "mailing list" on the left and enter your information.
• Send me an e-mail at siritalaw@winisp.net, and I will add you.
• Join the foster parent discussion group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FPAWS.  I won't personally have your e-mail address, but I do CC: the discussion group whenever I send out a mailing.

For most updates, you can read the daily website blog.  I will only use the mailing list when I urgently need your help.  I will not sell or give your information to any other party without your consent.  I might possibly cooperate with foster parent groups to forward mail to you when there are urgent issues.  We as foster parents are very splintered, and yet we all share the same frustrations with the system, which seems to trivialize the trauma caused by years of disruptions, and places the well-being of the child as less important than the rights of the parents.  If we all stand together, we are a powerful force.  Our goal is the safety of the children.  Who can possibly be against this?

I have heard so many stories from all of you that have come to this website.  There is so much shared angst.  Many of you have asked if I can help you.  The answer is you have to stand up for yourself and your child.  Be the loud noise in your senator's ear.  Most of them are good people, of both parties, but most of them have no idea just how bad this problem is.  Thank God, most children don't get killed.  But is a lifetime of abuse any less tragic?  If we all stand together, they will listen.  They are listening now.  If we waste this opportunity we have no one but ourselves to blame.  And when the next child dies, we will all be crying again.

Help me stop the madness.

March 16, 2005

The details of the injuries have me profoundly shaken.

Before today, I thought perhaps in frustration and rage you struck her with your hand, repeatedly, and it went too far.  But this was no strike of the hand.  I don't want to dwell on the morbid reality of the things you must have done to cause these injuries.  But I can't help it.  They keep playing in my mind like a broken record.  My God.  How could you?  How could anyone?

There's only one word for what you did.  Evil.

Before today, I was praying for your soul.  I thought perhaps I could perform an amazing act of Christian strength and actually forgive you.  But I can't.  God help me, I can't.  I want nothing more than to see you go into a deep dark hole and never come out.  I want to pray, but my mind only wants to see you punished.  This is the ultimate horror of what you've done.  You've given me a little taste of your evil.

March 15, 2005

This info is from the Washington State Department of Corrections website, http://www.doc.wa.gov:

"Manslaughter in the first degree committed before July 1, 1997 is punishable by up to 10 years in prison and a fine of $20,000. Manslaughter in the first degree committed on or after July 27, 1997 is punishable by life imprisonment and a $50,000 fine. The standard range for offenders subject to the Sentencing Reform Act (SRA) has varied over time. For offenders with no other criminal convictions who committed first-degree manslaughter between July 1, 1984 and July 26,1997, the standard range is 31 to 41 months. For offenders with no other criminal convictions who committed first-degree manslaughter on or after July 27, 1997, the standard range is 78 to 102 months."

So the typical sentence for a case such as this one will range from 6 1/2 to 8 1/2 years.  Since there was no arrest made yesterday when charges were filed, it is possible there was a plea bargain arrangement.  If so, the details have not been released and sentencing has not yet taken place.  Any comment on the sentence at this point is premature.

I do not believe this was premeditated.  Anyone who thought for a moment wouldn't have done it.  Killing someone in a rage of anger is called a "crime of passion,"  typically charged as manslaughter.  This one was charged as first degree.

I want to thank the Snohomish County Sheriff for following this case so doggedly.  It is sometimes frustrating for those of us who do not see all the work going on behind the scenes.  It's important to understand these cases must be tried in court, and that good police work includes good lawyer work to put together an airtight case.  That takes time.  If there was a plea bargain, that would only prove the case was so airtight the defense saw no alternative to pleading guilty.

This is painful for all of us.  Murder trials can take a very long time.  If there is no plea agreement, we must all brace ourselves for a very long process which tears our hearts apart daily in the courtroom, listening to horrible details over and over.  It will be like we are all in jail for a year.  If there is a plea agreement, understand it for what it is - a gift.  The anguish you and I felt yesterday when we first heard the words "severed liver and fractured skull" is just a small hint of what we would get every day at a long trial.  Believe me, you wouldn't like it.  A plea bargain spares us that pain.  It allows the family to hear the accused admit guilt on day one.  It gives closure.  It won't bring Sirita back.  It won't heal that rip in our hearts.  But it allows us to move on, and to see the guilty punished.

March 14, 2005

BREAKING NEWS:

Heather Ewell, Sirita's stepmother, has been charged with manslaughter.  She has not yet been arrested.  She will be arraigned next Wednesday.

I am incredibly, incredibly sad.  Angry, yes, but mostly sad.  If she is the person responsible - and I know nothing other than what's reported - then she has hurt and destroyed many lives in this one act, including her own.

Today is not a happy day for me.  This just brings it all back.  Deborah Horne from KIRO TV showed me the court documents that said Sirita died from injuries including a severed liver and fractured skull.  Oh my God.  How hard do you have to hit someone to do that?  My poor baby.  The coroner said that based on her injuries, she would have died within seconds or at most, minutes.  Thank God for small graces - at least she didn't suffer long.

This was a placement that went horribly wrong.  Sirita died because too many things simply took too long. It took her mother too long to get off of drugs. It took the state too long to decide when to terminate parental rights. It took the father too long to decide he wanted to be involved in his daughter’s life.

In any reasonable scenario, the most likely outcome was still placement with the father, but he should have been forced to make this decision when she was one year old, not nearly four. That would have made all the difference:

• She wouldn’t have interrupted the birth order
• She wouldn't have had all the emotional baggage from 3 ½ years of displacement.
• She would have been part of the equation when deciding to have more children, instead of the fifth child added to an already large family
• She would have had more bonding time with them at an early age
• While no child is ever at fault for abuse, less family stress can make abuse less likely.

Please help me stop the madness.  There needs to be time limits for parents to get their acts together.  Click on the link and call your senator.  Tell her/him that you support Sirita's Law, and ask that it be given a hearing.

March 13, 2005

About 5 o'clock this evening I got a call from Rick Richardson, from KTTH AM770, asking if I would appear as a guest at 9pm.  He was filling in as guest host for Rabbi Daniel Lapin.  Of course I agreed.  It was a great interview - thanks Rick.  I also enjoyed the conversation in the parking lot after the show, about your book, Origins of Our Faith and the Hebrew roots of Christianity.

March 12, 2005

Thank you to those that have sent a gift to the Sirita Memorial Fund at Children's Home Society.  The money will be used to help at-risk children, especially foster and abused children.  Every time a gift is made, CHS sends me a card with the names of the donors.  I am also ready to support any fund raising event; send me an e-mail if you have something planned.  To me, there is no more fitting tribute to her life than to help other children in similar situations.  The advocacy side of that tends to get all the press, and if you read this site it's pretty obvious I do believe we should engage our legislators to fix these problems.  But there is a lot of pain out there.  Some of it can only be helped when we reach from our wallets as well as our hearts.

March 11, 2005 AM

Here is the archived webcast from TVW.  The entire audio clip is 4 hours, but to hear only the debate on Sirita's Law, as soon as the player launches, click about halfway on the seek button.  The debate on HB2156 begins at 2:09 and runs until 2:26.

House Floor Debate March 10, 2005 The Washington State House of Representatives convenes for floor debate on pending legislation in Olympia.

listen

listen

The entire session will be rebroadcast on cable Friday morning at 5:30am, so if you tune in approximately 7:30am you should be able to catch the debate on HB2156.

WHAT'S NEXT:

• Call up your representative and say THANK YOU!  Not many people do this, and it's really quite important.

• Call or e-mail your senator and say PLEASE support Sirita's Law.

• Call or e-mail the chair of the Senate Human Services & Corrections Committee, Senator James Hargrove, and ask him to please give this bill a hearing, especially if you are one of his constituents.  He represents Clallam, Jefferson, and part of Grays Harbor Counties.  His telephone is (360) 786-7646; his e-mail is Hargrove.Jim@leg.wa.gov.

Sign up on my mailing list for continued updates.  And thank you for standing with me.

March 10, 2005 PM

We just passed unanimous off the floor of the House!  Thank you everyone.

I love you, Boo-Boo.  This is for you.

March 10, 2005

The vote will be held in the House today or tomorrow.  The support is overwhelming.  Here is the current vote count.